Becoming vulnerable.
The thought of opening yourself up to others can be a scary thing. Especially when you know you’re giving them power to hurt or reject you.
However, being vulnerable can be a very productive thing. Not only productive, it is brave and necessary. So, here are a couple things I’ve been trying to do to let myself become more vulnerable so people can see the real me, behind frustration, mad faces, bad responses, etc.
We need to accept that we are worthy.
This one seems easy, but it’s far more difficult than we can imagine. To really be OK with being vulnerable, we first need to accept the fact that we are worthy of all the good things in life. When we open up to someone else, we need to be 100% convinced that we deserve love and respect, even if it doesn’t come from them.
As Brené Brown says, “the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy."
So, learn to really love and appreciate yourself first, and the rest will for sure follow.
Start small.
Becoming vulnerable requires practice. So, start small. Open up to those people you absolutely know won’t judge you, no matter what you tell or show them. You don’t need to share your inner darkest secrets, but put yourself out there little by little, and you’ll start getting familiar with this experience in no time.
Stop resisting.
Sometimes we clench when we feel like we’re approaching a vulnerable moment. We put up walls and pretenses that keep us hidden and “safe”. Instead of doing this, try to give yourself permission to experience whatever it is you’re feeling because of this vulnerability; even if it’s good or bad.
Trust you can deal with the outcome of opening up.
We all know it sucks when we share a part of ourselves and get rejected or met with indifference. It happens, I’m not saying it won’t. But we need to know we have the emotional strength to deal with it. And the good news is that we’re all built with what it takes to handle negative emotions, we just tend to forget.
To become vulnerable, we have to truly acknowledge that even if we get disappointing answers, criticism or judgement, we can work our way through it and get back to the other side. Even transform that energy into something productive, where we use that info to grow.
Share hurtful stories with others.
When we get hurt, we tend to want to go back to a safe space and deal with it on our own. But that isn’t the best option there is.
If we open up about these situations, memories, feelings, failures, and thoughts to someone we trust, we can not only get comforted, but we actually get another shot at practicing vulnerability, because they say that “depending on others to soothe us can actually increase feelings of vulnerability."
So, never stop practicing.
Don’t give away the power to hurt you.
When we open up yourself to be vulnerable, we make a conscious decision that what we are showing, sharing and offering other people is worthy of love and acceptance. So, when we allow ourselves to become vulnerable, we become safe from harm because we already know that we are good enough. Yes, back to the first point, but it really is the core of it all.
If we do this, and then things don't work out the way that we wanted them to, that isn’t a reflection on us, but most likely on the circumstance or the situation.
When we close our hearts and put up protective barriers, we are at the mercy of everyone and everything. We become the perfect victims and give away our power by letting external things control how we feel.
